Christophian Times
Editor: Kit Johnson Edition#1
6/3/07

Christophia Under its 3rd Government in the last two months. No complaints.

This week, Christophia has declared its third known government in two whole months. From Christopher S. Johnson, to J. Bradley Johnson, to (present day) "Kit" Christopher Sean Johnson II. The leader started a revolution on 5/12/07, forcing Johnson out of his cruel regime. The borders were immediately closed, and a defensive station was set up. The thrown out dictator did not attempt to re-enter, but the country had lost many resources, and the population had dropped by 1/3 its original size. The citizens were overjoyed that the dictatorship had ended.

The new leader Mr. Johnson made many changes. He decided to close the borders to foreigners permanently unless they were willing to give their name and occupation. The new leader also chose to change the flag from its original look. The new leader also elected a new vice-leader. Jack C. Russell (Vice - leader) made many changes as well. The new vice leader quoted " The country of Christophia is suffering. The guy that walks me has deprived us of dog biscuits and food. He has punished me for protecting our country from invaders with a warning call, he has stopped me from searching for food in our green storage bin, he has stopped me from harvesting food from the [side walk]. He had gone too far, and as vice leader, things will change. Change for the better!". The crowd was extremely excited after this quote, chanting "Johnson, Russell! Johnson, Russel!". Christophia now runs many industries, such as dog walking, dish storing, painted warhammer figures, and comic book reading. Christophia earns much money, and now has a booming economy. The new leaders have definitely made, quote, "Changes for the better!".

SURVEY SEZ: Favorite daily activities.

Grisly scene found involving a rat. Brad Johnson declines to comment.

On June 4th, 2007, a grisly scene was found in Christophia. Leader Kit Johnson II, and citizen Brad Johnson found a dead rat body and a rat's tail. The tail has been proven not to belong to the carcass, even though it was missing a tail. It was disgusting to think about what had happened. The body and tail were disposed of, and thus starting the case. The first person our team attempted to interview was Brad Johnson, who was the first person to have seen the dead body. He declined to comment, and continued mowing the lawn as he was doing. We then interviewed Jack C. Russel, the vice leader of Christophia, what he thought on the matter. After we asked him for a comment, he sniffed my notepad, and then licked it. Finally, we came to interview Mary D. O'neil, and we finally came to a good reply. She quoted, "I feel that it is getting to the point that its just not safe for anyone to go into their backyard [anymore]. I mean, just what is a rat supposed to do?". If you have seen a tail-less rat, please call 1-(415)- 550-7729.



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